When I say the word Song of Solomon, what comes to mind? If you are churched at all, perhaps you know it as the sex book of the Bible. Just me? I’ve thought of it as a little embarrassing to read maybe, and awkward to talk about in the church. My hypothesis is that it is easier to laugh off our discomfort about it than to fully investigate it. It is a recorded conversation between lovers in the Bible, and we are supposed to read the Bible,but I still feel like I’m witnessing something maybe I shouldn’t be. Isn’t it too intimate or personal? 

God is very purposeful with what He includes in Scripture. Paul writes this to Timothy in 2 Timothy 3:16-17: “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.” In light of this verse, Song of Solomon is not just a few risque conversations between lovers; this book is breathed out by God for our benefit. So we should not only read the book, but dive in deep. And for the purpose of this post, explore who this nameless female lover and her words which take up half the book! 

*I’d encourage you to read the book in its entirety before continuing in this post.
It is 8 chapters, so it won’t take you long!*

Song of Solomon has many different interpretations. Some think it is all an allegory showcasing the love of God to His people. Some believe the book to be an anthology of sorts, a compilation of love poems or songs. Two more interpretations hold the thought that it is a story of love between a shepherdess and either a shepherd or King Solomon. 

What is not so debated, however, is the description of the “she” character in the book. The ESV Bible introduction states that she is “perhaps the most clearly drawn female character in the Bible.” 

I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases. Song of Solomon 2:7

So, who is she? A shepherdess, a country girl, a Shulammite woman, most likely from the village of Shunmen, a part of the northern kingdom. She is a lover. We would call her head over heels in love, but at the same time, she fights for a pure union with her lover. She is eager to marry this man, and to make love to him, but she wants to do this thing right (aka “do not stir up or awaken love until it pleases” Song of Solomon 2:7.) She tells others about her beloved, speaks of her admiration for him, and her desire for him. She is excited to give herself to him. (My beloved is mine, and I am his. Song of Solomon 2:16.) 

She not only gives this love, but receives it, as exemplified by the back and forth nature of the exchanges. Their love is public, clear for all to see. She states “He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.” (Song of Solomon 2:4) The word for banner here is only used once elsewhere in Scripture, in Numbers 2:2, as something flown to share the identity of an army in camps and battles. Their love, therefore, is declared and becomes a part of their identity and declares it to their enemies.

So we do not know the name of this shepherdess, but we do know her identity was rooted in love. As our identity can also be!

As I’ve been listening to the most recent series of the Dayton Women in the Word podcast, I was struck by how Kalie McDonald described the Gospel as the greatest love story. She quoted one of my favorite passages, Zephaniah 3:17 “The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” She described herself going on dates with God and described him as her husband, a way we can all describe Jesus! It delights me to witness her public passion for the greatest love of her life.

For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called. Isaiah 54:5

Our marriage with the Lord is a refrain throughout the entirety of Scripture. God describes Himself as our Husband (Isaiah 54:5,) He calls the church His bride (Ephesians 5:25,) and He wants us to own and act upon our identity as His beloved (1 John 4:7-12.) I remember all we learned in our Hosea summer study, about how God relentlessly pursues us, and restores us from us from adulterous sinner to His beloved bride. Like the shepherdess, we too will be attending a wedding banquet with our bridegroom, the wedding feast of the Lamb (Revelation 19:6-9.) 

In the garden, Adam and Even walked in this perfect love. They were naked and felt no shame (Gen 2:25.) I’ve heard it said that in Christ, we are “fully known and fully loved.” They were living with the Lord and flourishing under his good plan for this earth. When they sinned, their intimacy with God was wrecked, and their intimacy with each other as well. 

In Song of Solomon, I see a woman described with delight. I see two lovers obeying God, living according to His boundaries for sex and freely enjoying each other within them. I see no shame described. They are flourishing and free. Although interpretations differ on this specific book, we do know that marriage is the way God wants us to understand His relationship with us. As I read about the shepherdess in Song of Solomon, I feel an invitation to accept (without blushing!) God’s delight in me, His Bride. I feel the invitation to walk in the identity of love He has placed on my life and to feast with Him at the table. I want to obey Him to keep our marriage pure because I made a covenant to Him, and He to me. 

How would you describe Jesus if you were the shepherdess, describing her lover? What would you say? Write? We often annotate the attributes of God in our studies. Why not make it a love letter, and why not share it with others? I believe when we accept the love of Jesus, we won’t be able to help but brag on our Husband. It might seem too good to be true, but the reality is, it is TRUE. Others may think they are witnessing something too personal, but you will show them anyway because you want them to have intimacy with God like you do. 

And if you don’t know Jesus this way yet, it’s time to embrace the love He has for you. His desire is for you to be His. He is eagerly awaiting His bride, and we eagerly await Him.

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Jillian Vincent loves Jesus. She's a wife, a mother of boys, and a Dayton enthusiast. Jillian currently is a stay at home mama and spends nap times writing and discipling other women. She would (almost) die for an avocado, a cup of coffee made by her husband, a novel that makes her cry, and a bouquet of sunflowers.

 Kol d’mama de kah. I remember the first time I heard the word spoken. I twirled it around in my mouth, and tried to braid it with my tongue before regurgitating it back to those around me. It was at another staff meeting at Back2Back Ministries, and our co-founder, Beth Guckenberger, was doing a short teaching on the Hebrew word.

Kol d’mama de kah literally means a gentle whisper. It’s also the word used to describe a mother speaking to her newborn baby or the unintelligible murmurings of two lovers together. In these tender moments, only mother and baby understand can each other and the two lovers would be completely in sync. Beth shared these meanings with us and then jumped to the book of 1 Kings where Elijah is called to God’s mountain, Mount Horeb.

To live in a broken world means each of us is head butting moments from which we’d rather escape.

When we settle in with Elijah in 1 Kings 19, he is at the end of his rope. He’s exhausted, he’s sick of running, and sees greater value in being called home than in continuing on. Most important of all, he’s searching for a moment of clarity with the Lord. The Message translation says Elijah shouts, “Enough of this God!” (v. 4.) The ESV translates it this way: “It is enough now; O Lord. . .” Now I’ve never had to run cross-country in order to try to preserve my life, but every fiber of my being wants to put my hand on Elijah’s shoulder and whisper, I see you, brother. To live in a broken world means each of us is head butting moments from which we’d rather escape.

God and His angels aren’t content to allow Elijah to make his exit just yet, though. They rouse him, begging him to eat more than once and then an angel instructs him to head to Mount Horeb, to hear from the Lord.

So, Elijah climbs the mountain to wait for the Lord. He’s met with a great wind, tearing down rocks from the mountainside, but he doesn’t find God there. Then, an earthquake shakes the ground beneath him, but still God isn’t there. Next, a fire. But He is not be found in the flames either.

And after the fire the sound of a low whisper (v. 12) - Elijah was met instead with a low whisper, or a kol d’mama de kah.

How often do we search for God in the major things? The Creator of the oceans and stars will surely show up in ways that are noticeable to many, right? I, like Elijah, have searched for God in the fire, the earthquake, and the strong wind – maybe not literally, but I am searching for cloud formation sentences, or the flickering of power in the midst of trial. I look for clear, obvious, obnoxious evidence of the Lord speaking to me. But when did I start believing that God was obnoxiously loud?

The more I read Scripture, the more I learn about Him, and the more comfortable I become with knowing Him as intimate God. He is intimate with me. I am His child; like a newborn cradled in the arms of its parent, focused solely on the voice of the One who knows me thoroughly. I am loved by Him; every intricacy He has seen, memorized, and still adored. I, like Elijah, wouldn’t have thought to quiet my expectations, be still, and wait for His tenderness, but goodness I am humbled and silenced when He shows up gentle and sweet for me.

“The Lord was expressing to Elijah that He is not always found in the big demonstration: the fire, the earthquake, or the powerful wind. [We] will find him in this intimate exchange where His face is drawn close to [ours] and all others are now blurred . . . this is where His voice is the clearest.”
- Beth Guckenberger, Start with Amen

I, like Elijah, wouldn’t have thought to quiet my expectations, be still, and wait for His tenderness

I want intimacy with God. I want to crave that more than any drawn out kiss from a man or guttural belly laugh with a friend. I want to come to understand His knowing of me and what that means for my narrative. I want fires and earthquakes and raging winds to pass by, and I can smile knowingly and say, “nah, He’s coming in quiet, just for me.” Because He always does come. I forget it often, and lose sight of this story and just how much Elijah and I have in common.

Praise God that we have a Poppa who isn’t fickle like His children. He continues to pursue us with tenderness and an all-encompassing love. I want a thousand tiny moments of me and Jesus, forehead to forehead, so focused on each other that the mental illness, the stress, the comparison, and the wondering where everything is going to end up blurs, and I just see Him. I want that, over and over again, for the rest of my days. I want a life defined by kol d’mama de kah – quiet exchanges where the world takes its rightful second place in comparison to my Maker.

Poppa, cultivate in me an insatiable desire for you. Lord God, slow my pace and help me remember just how much I desire intimate moments for just You and me. Amen.

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 Steph Duff wants to live in a world where every human, whether small or regular-sized, learns to use their voice and is seen and known. When she's not traveling and story telling with Back2Back Ministries, you'll likely find her drinking excessive cups of coffee, with her nose in a book, or daydreaming about India. Her favorite scripture is Habakkuk 1:5, and she prays for a world in which Jesus is the name on every lip. Learn a little more about her love for semi-colons, what stirs her blood, and the yearnings of her heart over at www.stephaniduff.wordpress.com.