Can we be honest for a moment? Are you like me and wrestle with the idea of death and destruction by a loving God? I was tempted to skim over this week’s reading laden with conquest and geography. But I didn’t. And God spoke to my heart in a tender way because of it.

What was so important about the land the Israelites needed to take possession of anyway? Didn’t it belong to others who were already dwelling there? Was God just being cruel and socially unjust? What kind of a God would do that?! We’ve all encountered difficult passages we have either wrestled with or wanted to ignore because they’re challenging and uncomfortable.

Our reading this week is like that. It’s messy. And in our Western Christian culture, we don’t do messy well.

How often I am quick to take my culture and insert it into the Bible. And when I do, I come away with a misunderstanding of the passage and most importantly, misinformation about God.

Instead of ignoring the “elephant in the room,” I decided to face it. First, I had to remember that God delivered His Word to us in the context of an Eastern culture that is more organic and relational than ours. This culture also has a “two-handed” approach to thinking (“On the one hand…. but on the other hand…”) and welcomes discussion and wrestling with the tension of opposing options.

Personally, I seek comfort in having all the “right answers.” I cling to truth as a cherished possession I own. Everything should be black and white, balanced and fair, and coincide with my own values. I pull truth out of my pocket and wave it around when I’m backed into a corner. I place my full weight, trust, and life behind that truth as I’ve come to understand it. I even find security in it. While there is nothing inherently wrong with that, there’s not much right with it either. And so began the struggle, and the Lord calling me back to center through the tension found in Joshua.

As I dug in, I learned something helpful: the book of Joshua was written in the form of an ancient land grant. Land grants were made for the benefit of vassals (slaves/people) living under a suzerain (lord/king) -- much different than treaties which were made for the king’s own personal benefit.

Just as God offered the Israelites kingdom identity, I need to understand the identity I have in Him as my King.

In a land grant, the land remained a part of the kingdom and was under the king’s control and protection. As long as the nation to whom the land was given remained loyal to the king, the land was theirs to keep. This arrangement gave the people a kingdom identity and sense of security. So what does this have to do with the Israelites? In the book of Joshua, God takes on the role of the suzerain. As such, there was no place for those who proclaimed loyalty to other gods.

God was carving out a place of identity for His people, and the world would know He is the one true King.

As I was digesting this, I began seeing similarities of my own heart to the “land.” Just as God offered the Israelites kingdom identity, I need to understand the identity I have in Him as my King. Just as He helped them vanquish the enemies and strongholds that stood in their path, I need to address the stubborn enemies and strongholds of my heart.

The Promised Land was to be a place of rest and kingdom living for the Israelites--a place where God’s glory would be on display for all the nations so they too might come to know Him as the one true King. This made me stop and reflect. Is God’s glory on display in my life? Am I tolerating strongholds and sins that are, in effect, enemies toward God? What is it that keeps me from enjoying the provision of my King -- from fully living in that place of security, peace, and identity He desires for me to enjoy?

These are the things God tenderly spoke to my heart as I read this week’s passage. And in them I find hope in a God who fights for me.

““How long will you wait before you begin to take possession of the land that the LORD, the God of your ancestors has given you?””

— Joshua 18:3

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Jackie Perseghetti wants to live in a world where every human realizes they are walking wounded and in need of God’s grace. Her heart is to be God’s person at God’s time in the life of another and she looks for God-given moments to breathe life and encouragement. When Jackie is not going on adfuntures with her hubby (adventure with fun at the center) or teaching drums or the art of papercrafting, you can find her digging in her garden, storytelling to her grandkids, or sharing the stirrings of her heart at  www.smallstepsintofreedom.wordpress.com  She takes great comfort in her favorite Bible verses: Isaiah 41:10 and Isaiah 46:4. 

“ “And the Lord your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your offspring, so that you will love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, that you may live.””

— Deuteronomy 30:6

There it is again. Circumcision. Something I can understand in theory, but can never have experiential knowledge of. It reminds me of walking into that inevitable middle school health class covering the in’s and out’s of puberty and being ill-prepared to fully comprehend the diagrams of anatomy that, as a female, I didn’t possess. Sometimes I look at imagery scattered throughout Scripture with a similar sense of befuddlement. I know references to common practices, such as circumcision in this case, are not meant to veil the truth, but to facilitate a greater depth of understanding. In light of that, I don’t want to skim over the difficult bits at the cost of missing something important.

At this point in Deuteronomy, Moses has shared with the Israelites the curses and blessings that respectively accompany disobedience and obedience to the Lord. The Israelites are at Moab and the Lord is renewing the covenant given to them back at Horeb (Exodus 19-40). It is after Moses has begun to address Israel’s repentant return to the Lord and after their acts of disobedience that he mentions the circumcision of the heart. Circumcision is an act of compassion. This reminder falls amid promises of restoration and life when the Israelites have turned from their rebellion and returned to their God. It is not something they could do in their own strength. They could not change their own hearts.

The stubbornness that had bound them had to be cut away for them to love unrestrained.

And so, God intervenes. Though it may cause pain, God intervenes in love so that the Israelites could, in turn, love God with all of themselves - with all their hearts, souls, and strength (Deut. 6:5). The stubbornness that had bound them had to be cut away for them to love unrestrained (Deut. 10:16). A part of them had to die, so that they could truly live and love the way they were meant to.

But this unseen liberation comes with a need for submission and humility. It comes with a need for a realization of powerlessness and lack, and ultimately a recognition of the greatness and supremacy of God. Here, I begin to see my own similar need beating within the hearts of the Israelites. I cannot change my own heart. I cannot make it into what it needs to be or make it long for the things I want it to long for, for the things that delight God’s heart. But do I trust Him to cut away what is necessary?  Do I trust Him with the things that are stifling, even killing me, from within? Do I trust Him to wield the knife in kindness and in love? Do I trust these hands that made me? Do you? Regardless of any pain it may cause, I cannot know life apart from loving God.

So, while my physical make-up may differ from that of the Israelite patriarchs and leaders, we, too, have a shared need of God’s intervention in the redemption of our hearts. Apart from God’s own handiwork, I cannot love Him well. I cannot love Him by the force of my own strength, or by mustering enough self-discipline, or by willfully setting my mind to it. I am reminded that I am in desperate need of Christ and what His work on the cross accomplished for me, for us. He is our only hope for change, for life, and for love.

“In him also you were circumcised with a circumcision made without hands, by putting off the body of the flesh, by the circumcision of Christ, having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through faith in the powerful working of God, who raised him from the dead.”
- ‭‭Colossians‬ ‭2:11-12

I cannot know life apart from loving God.

I have experienced what I initially assumed impossible. As this verse says, in Christ, I have become subject to circumcision. This is not a circumcision of a piece of my body, but rather a circumcision of my body of flesh - my fallen, sinful nature and all that accompanies it. By the circumcision of Christ, our inheritance as children of Adam is cast off (1 Corinthians 15:22) and we are able to stand united with Christ as inheritors of His righteousness and living dwellings for His Spirit (2 Corinthians 5:5). And it is the Spirit that enables us to live anew in obedience to God, imitating Jesus. It is for Him that our hearts were made, by Him our hearts are able to love, and through Him our hearts find life. It is true then that “...circumcision is a matter of the heart, by the Spirit, [and] not by the letter..” (Romans 2:29) Our transformation then is not the result of rules, but an evidence of the Holy Spirit at work within us, cutting away the things that hinder.

So, as we look back on the past week and ahead to the next week’s reading, what are some places where you feel the Spirit calling you to let Him cut away the things of the flesh from your heart?

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Robin Zastrow wants to live in a world where coffee never gets cold and kindness abounds. When she's not discovering the wonders of construction paper and cardboard tubes with her two little ones, you can find her sneaking in another few pages of a book or jotting down bits of writing on scraps of paper.

One of her favorite Scriptures is:“ Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you.” Psalm 33:20-22 ESV

Today’s team journal is written by our Bible Study Director, Lauren Steckling.

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I prayed that I would be a good mom -- that I would be able to love, nurture, and care for my baby well and raise her to be strong and healthy. I prayed that I would be equipped enough not to fail her. I prayed these things because I knew I was lacking. I knew my weaknesses and my selfish tendencies. I knew I was prone to frustration and when that frustration came, I might say or do things that could be hurtful to her. I knew I would fail, and that awareness of my need drew me to my knees.

As that baby girl is growing now into full-blown toddlerhood, I am remembering those early, uncertain prayers from pregnancy as I encounter  a new wave of uncertainties overcome me. These tantrums and defiant fits are now where I am being  tested. I think: Will I be a good mom through the difficult? Will I handle this season  with patience and love and show my daughter grace? I can feel anxiety and insecurity start to crawl through my body like a looming storm cloud. But just as it starts to draw closer, I remember all He has done in me since those first prayers, and I can have peace.

God reminds me of who He is as a Father -- my Father, my daughter’s Father -- and what a good Father He really is. He will never fail me. He has reminded me over and over lately of His goodness. Not only in the way He loves, provides and blesses me, but how He corrects me, refines me, SANCTIFIES me so that I can come before Him, broken as I am, and He will accept me as holy through the blood of His Son. That process is never easy, in fact, it’s usually painful, but it “produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it” (Heb. 12:11).

God reminds me of who He is as a Father -- my Father, my daughter’s Father -- and what a good Father He really is.

I know that God could have given up on me a long time ago - a Christian kid who knew all the terms and accepted Christ before I could spell His name. I was lost in the technicalities and was too prideful to realize His Word, and my relationship with Him, wasn’t about me. He is too good to leave us where we are though, and I thank God He didn’t leave me there. He stripped me down, broke me, and put me in a place where I had no choice but to fall before Him on my knees.

I believe God gave me our daughter to re-introduce Himself to me. I had a pretty easy pregnancy and a relatively uneventful birth, but postpartum is where Jesus and I have gotten close. It was in those long, never-ending, sleepless nights that I cried to Him. It was in the moments of heightened emotions and desperation for someone to tell me they understood what I was going though, that I could hear Him whispering to me: I am El Roi - the God who sees you (Gen. 16:13-14), El Shama- the God who hears you (Psalm 17:6), and Jehovah-Jireh - the God who provides (Gen. 22:14). Those names have become my comfort. They were my prayers when all my words were gone - “You are the God who Sees me. You are the God who Hears me. You are the God who will provide”.

I drew closer to the Lord than I ever had before. I began to understand what it meant to need Jesus - Him and ONLY Him. He highlighted my need for Him more than I had ever realized before. Growing up in a strong, Christian home with few trials, sure, I knew I “needed God”, but now, I needed Him. And He was there. I communed with Him for months in my brokenness and desperation. I dwelled in who He was in my life - my El Roi, my El Shama - and then He would show Himself as my Jehovah Jireh. He first provided what I needed, but didn’t know I needed- Himself. He could have left me there and I would have had reason to thank and praise Him for the rest of my days. But He is a good, good Father, so then He provided what I asked for - community and other women who could tell me they understood.

The lyrics of “King of My Heart” by Bethel Worship have been on repeat in my heart lately. As the song says, I know God is ‘the mountain where I run’ to for shelter, ‘the fountain I drink from’ to for refreshment, and ‘the shadow where I hide’ for rest -- He is GOOD.

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Lauren Steckling wants to live in a world where donuts have no calories, weekends last longer, and everyone would feel the grace and peace that comes knowing their Savior Jesus. When she's not taking care of her toddler, you can find her sewing, baking, or with her nose in a good book.

Her favorite Scripture is Isaiah 41:10, ESV: "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

“ “For the Lord your God has blessed you in all the work of your hands. He knows your going through this great wilderness. These forty years the Lord your God has been with you. You have lacked nothing.””

— Deuteronomy 2:7

Forty years. I am dumbfounded by that number. Forty years of wilderness. Forty years of not knowing when it would end. Forty years not knowing if what was promised would come to fruition. Forty years is a long time. I mean, if I can be frank, forty minutes can feel like an eternity at times. 

Living in a world that is fast paced and social media driven, we are not a generation who appreciates, or even understands, patience the way that we should. Instant gratification, confusing want with need, and praying when it’s only the most dire of situations and not because it is our privilege, these all seem to be too commonplace in our culture. Maybe you’re not guilty of those things, but we’re all friends here, right? So, I’m going to propose an honesty hour here...or maybe just forty minutes, to save us some time.

“And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness...He humbled you by letting you go hungry; then He gave you manna to eat...Your clothing did not wear out, and your feet did not swell these 40 years.”

- Deuteronomy 8: 2,3-4

I confuse want with need every single day. And I have lived through seasons where prayer looked more like pleading in that eleventh hour, and less like an ongoing dialogue between a girl and her Papa. And often, in the midst of those seasons, the lack of conversation and the deep-bellied grief over not getting something I wanted, was because I was confusing God for a genie who gives us what we always want rather than understanding Him as an all-knowing Savior who provides for us what we need.

He takes care of our needs, but oftentimes my prayers have looked like, Father God, I want more money for fun. I want to buy a new couch. I want to be able to save more. I don’t want to have to decide what “taxable items” are necessary this week.

This list could go on and on, as I am sure yours could too. These are things I want, but I have allowed myself to believe they’re what I need. As I read through Deuteronomy chapter 8, I hear the faint whisperings from my Papa who never leaves: Sweet girl, do you have a couch? Is there food in your fridge? Are your bills paid? Do you have trash bags? Can you take a couple rolls of toilet paper from your momma next time you’re at her house? The clear to answer to these whispers is yes. He has provided just what I need, in my time of need. And so, my litany of requests seems to grow faint as His voice grows stronger in my head.

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I remember the first time I was confronted with poverty that broke me from the inside out. It was my second trip to India, and my first time walking through an area slum with which Back2Back Ministries partners. Piles of trash lined the corridors of homes. Makeshift doors of metal were held up with rope or wiring. Collections of coconut shells were lined up and drying out in the heat of the sun. There were flies everywhere and barefooted babies running freely.

I remember not being able to decide whether I should choke from grief or laugh at the joy still found in the circumstances -- circumstances with which I will never be able to empathize. That day something shook loose in me. A continual reminder that, when complaining fights to leave my lips, I am not without. I am not in need. The list of things I take for granted is long and unforgivable. But God.

I always tell people it’s difficult to come back from India, or from any developing country because you stop being confronted with what so much of the world lacks. When I am in Ohio, sitting in my home with heat or air conditioning, with easy access to grocery stores to fulfill my needs, and driving a car that will not break down or fail me, I tend to lose sight of the streets of that slum. I tend to forget how I felt holding hands with the little girl who showed me her home. I need to remember “home” isn’t always four walls and a door. I forget. And I don’t want to be an ungrateful American millennial who believes she’s got it really bad, when in actuality, she’s never really been found in need.

Their God hasn’t forgotten about them, just as He never forgets about me.

I think about the little girls in that slum village weekly. Their hair wild and unkempt in the most stunning of ways, their dresses vibrant and cheerful, their little anklets with the bells that never stop ringing, because they never stop moving. They exhibited a joy founded in purity. Their homes may not look like mine, but they do have a place to sleep and eat with their families. Their parent’s jobs may not be what an American child grows up thinking about, but they are doing the best with what they have. Their God hasn’t forgotten about them, just as He never forgets about me.

And then I consider those Israelites in Deuteronomy. The ones I’d love to believe I’m so much better than. Forty years in the wilderness, with a whole lot of questions and doubts. I imagine myself scoffing at them and them raising their eyebrows back my way saying: “Oh, sure, girl. Because you rest in peace and blind trust every day, right?”

Then I realize I am the Israelite eating manna, and still asking for things I do not need right now. And God is still providing, but asking softly – “Do you really not have what you need, little one?” I am the girl who will always question, always push in seasons of want, feeling like I’ve been forgotten or overlooked, and thankfully Jesus is still my love who gently reminds me, “Your God has been with you. You have lacked nothing.”

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 Steph Duff wants to live in a world where every human, whether small or regular-sized, learns to use their voice and is seen and known. When she's not traveling and story telling with Back2Back Ministries, you'll likely find her drinking excessive cups of coffee, with her nose in a book, or daydreaming about India. Her favorite scripture is Habakkuk 1:5, and she prays for a world in which Jesus is the name on every lip. Learn a little more about her love for semi-colons, what stirs her blood, and the yearnings of her heart over at www.stephaniduff.wordpress.com.

As we continue through the overarching story of the Bible with DWITW 365, this week in the book of Numbers, finds Israel camped in the plains of Moab beyond the Jordan. While Israel is encamped, we become acquainted with Balak, the king of Moab. Balak knew what had just befallen the Amorites at the hands of the Israelites and their God. He knew of the bloodshed, the destruction. Now, the Israelites were close to him. Too close. He was afraid. He needed a solution and he remembered the prophet Balaam.

Balaam had a reputation for being a man whose words of blessing or cursing held power. What he said, happened. And Balak needed something to happen. So he sent money and princes to entice Balaam to come and curse this multitude of people camped in the plains of Moab. Twice Balak sent princes to Balaam. Twice Balak dared hope an easy victory was well within his grasp. After the second request, Balaam returned with the princes to Moab and informed Balak that he could only speak the words that God would give him.

When morning came, Balak set his plan in motion, but things didn't go as Balak had anticipated. Three times, he took Balaam to a place that overlooked the Israelite camp. Three times, Balaam instructed Balak to build seven altars and sacrifice seven bulls and seven rams. And three times, Balaam spoke an oracle of blessing over the people of Israel, much to the frustration and anger of king Balak.

There is no peace to be found in my own accomplishments, strengths, or even in the shadow of another’s failure.

As I read through the plight of this king, I couldn’t help but wonder, what is it that I run to when I am afraid? What is it that I seek out when I fear that I am failing as a wife, or as a mother? What do I turn to when I feel like I’m insufficient and incapable? Do I turn to the opinions of others? Or play the comparison game? Or, is self-deprecation my go-to?

In his fear, Balak summoned Baalam to curse the Israelites - this was his attempt to gain control of the situation. If he could decide the outcome, life could resume as normal. But to his disappointment, his peace did not lie within his grasp. And, nor does mine. There is no peace to be found in my own accomplishments, strengths, or even in the shadow of another’s failure.

Peace, true peace, lies in the hands of our Maker, our Creator God, who promised Abraham that all the nations of the earth would be blessed through Him. Our joy is to know the fruition of that blessing in Christ. I need not entertain the thoughts of comparison that only seek to rob me of the joy I can savor in seeing others blessed.

How many times have I sought out my own affirmation at the cost of missing the opportunity to encourage a friend? What petty suppositions of mine have grown into downright cold-hearted competition? Are you, like me, at times disheartened by others success, how God has blessed another?

Dear sisters, we are far stronger together than we are alone. Let us use our words to remind each other of our great God, His great love for us, and the holy lives we are called to live. Lives that reflect Him and His nature to the world around us. And this is not something we have to do in our own power. No, we have the Spirit. That Holy Spirit living in us which so gently guides, comforts, and corrects.

We also have the Word. His Word that stands as a mirror to our lives and our hearts. We have His Word that shows us our own ugliness and shortcomings, while also pointing us to the unsurpassing beauty and completeness of Jesus. And from the depths of that knowledge may we speak of Christ to one another. May we speak of love and hope and grace. May we set our minds and hearts on things above; things that are true and honorable and just and pure and lovely and praiseworthy - things that remind us of Jesus and help us remember the God of peace that is so near (Philippians 4:8-9). Because of Him, we need not fear.

“”If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.  When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.””

— Colossians 3:1-4

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Robin Zastrow wants to live in a world where coffee never gets cold and kindness abounds. When she's not discovering the wonders of construction paper and cardboard tubes with her two little ones, you can find her sneaking in another few pages of a book or jotting down bits of writing on scraps of paper.

One of her favorite Scriptures is:
“ Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you.” Psalm 33:20-22 ESV

Today’s team journal is written by our Design Director, Mindy Braun.

I always have said, “Want to know your heart? Have a kid”. After two kids, I thought my heart and the ugly sin within were pretty much revealed. I was wrong.

At the end of January 2018, my family became approved to host kids in our home through Safe Families. The very next day we welcomed two toddlers into our home - one almost two and the other almost three. Needless to say, it’s been a long 5 weeks of exhaustion, and in the middle of it, all 4 kids in my house had strep throat. It feels like I’ve been running on fumes and I’ll never catch up.

Through these last 5 weeks, though, the Lord has used this season to reveal deeper parts of my sinful heart. I’ve seen anger, frustration, impatience, harshness, selfishness, and a whole slew of other negative emotions well-up and overflow into my actions. Seeing these things in myself has brought on inner turmoil. I’ve seen myself get quickly agitated or easily angered, and have become too quick to speak, just wanting to crawl back into bed to be left alone. I’ve been struggling with the guilt and frustration. I thought, I’m supposed to be opening my home and my heart with grace and unconditional love. I’m supposed to be Jesus to them and I’m failing miserably.

I feel like everyday I’m saying to my husband and to myself: “I don’t know what to do about this....” I don’t know how to change behaviors. I don’t know how to prevent meltdowns. Or, how to simply find enough energy to get through the day. And ultimately, I didn’t know how to change my own heart.

The Lord has quickly stepped into these wandering thoughts and has inserted Himself. These last few days, I’ve heard a still, small voice - a voice that I had quieted and ignored before - and it’s simply saying “Seek Me.”

These last few days, I’ve heard a still, small voice . . . and it’s simply saying “Seek Me.”

Instead of wallowing in my own frustrations and self-discouragements, what I needed to be seeking was the Lord and His truths. I remembered that I needed to be looking to him to change my heart (Psalm 51:10) - to give me a heart of compassion, understanding, and unconditional love. He will be my strength (Psalm 46:1, 54:4), and He will to give me the endurance to keep on doing His good work (Psalm 57:2). I need to be in His Word daily, not just skimming it to check my box for the day, but I need to entrench myself in it. I need to be mediating on His words day and night. I need to be communicating with Him in prayer - to bring my struggles to Him, instead of dealing with them my own through meaningless means like Netflix and chocolate hearts.

Christ calls us to lean upon Him in times of joy and in times of trouble (Prov. 3:5). So, when Satan is using our weaknesses against us, we are not to go to numbing out, but we are to actively and fervently go before the Lord with awe. The Lord wants to hear from us and He is willing to listen (Psalm 116:9). Now, after having been reminded of this, I am finding my response to be the same as Paul’s in 2 Cor. 12:9-10: “Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (NLT).

When we feel weak; when we feel like failures; when we feel like we cannot go on; the Lord can be our strength, our success, and He will help us endure. He is for us and is our Helper in our time of need (Psalm 56:9, 54:4). He is faithful to His Word and He will empower us to do His good works (Psalm 118:1). My prayer for you in this understanding is that of Hebrews 13:20-21 (NLT):

“Now may the God of peace—
who brought up from the dead our Lord Jesus,
the great Shepherd of the sheep,
and ratified an eternal covenant with his blood—
may he equip you with all you need
for doing his will.
May he produce in you
through the power of Jesus Christ,
every good thing that is pleasing to him.
All glory to him forever and ever! Amen.”

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Mindy wants to live in a world where laundry cleans itself, it's 78 degrees every day, and where grace abounds. When she's not working alongside her husband, you can find her serving with DWITW and Safe Families Greater Dayton, caring for her two kiddos, and enjoying time outside.

Her favorite Scriptures are Romans 5:18-21, Colossians 2:7, and 2 Peter 3:9.

See Mindy and her husband's work at www.wearethebrauns.com and learn more about Safe Families at www.safe-families.org.

It’s still winter. All over my Instagram, people are being taken down by the flu. Moms hold their breath as they check the school closing lists, and groan as they find out that school is closed, yet again. Things are kind of just blah in this season. I’ve noticed it in my own spirit, and in the spirits of those around me - a pattern of grumbling and complaining. This cranky vibe has vomited all over my kids, my social media, my husband, and my church. There is always something to grumble about, someone to vent to, and something to be bitter over. It is so commonplace, like a verbal filler. It quickly becomes our go-to subject during small talk. Is there anyone not complaining? And how’s it going in my own heart? Well, it could certainly win the ‘winter-blues-grumpy-pants’ award.

There is no in-between. . .
everything means everything

In the midst of this season, I have been teaching my three-year old son, Titus, Bible verses with ABC Scripture cards. The “D” verse is “do everything without complaining or arguing” (Philippians 2:14). The Holy Spirit has been bringing this to my mind often and using it to convict my heart. In my study, God has also been emphasizing to me every time He says words like “all,” “none,” “everything” or “nothing.” There is no in-between when God uses this language. When He inspired Paul to write these words “Do everything without complaining or arguing” to the church in Philippi, he picked the word “everything” on purpose. Everything means everything. Do everything without complaining or arguing. Paul did not write “Do some things without complaining or arguing” or “Do churchy things without complaining or arguing”; no, God says everything.

Now don’t get me wrong. I want the real, raw truth from you when I ask you how you are doing. And nowhere in the Bible does it say, “don’t have feelings” or “don’t be authentic,” but I’m learning through these Biblical narratives that there is a way to express these things and still proclaim trust in the Lord and dare I say, even worship Him. Remember Job? He hit the nail on the head when he said, “Though He slay me, I will trust in Him!” Job 13:15.

On the contrary, the Israelites in the account of Numbers 14 were not on the same wavelength - we find them complaining. They don’t like their food. They don’t like their living situation. They are downright scared of those giants living in the land God promised to them. And it is shocking to us, after all God has done for them, that they are still grumbling! At this point in the story, we have followed the Israelites’ incredible journey - saved from famine, saved from slavery, saved from disaster and saved from the tyrant pharaoh - and here, God makes a point of extending mercy to them yet again, but this time to save them from themselves.

And of the Israelites in this time, I ask: Is there anyone not complaining?

There are four outliers who choose another way: Aaron, Moses, Joshua and Caleb. These four leaders respond in a way that is completely refreshing. In Numbers 14:5-11, they take some drastic measures in the face of the Israelites complaints. Moses and Aaron fall on their faces. Joshua and Caleb tear their clothes and plead with the people. Moses then intercedes for his people before the Lord, despite their unworthiness, and as Moses prays, He reminds God of who He has shown Himself to be:

““The Lord is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, forgiving iniquity and transgression, but he will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, to the third and the fourth generation. Please pardon the iniquity of this people, according to the greatness of your steadfast love, just as you have forgiven this people, from Egypt until now.””

— Numbers 14:18-19

After this intercession, God shows mercy and pardon yet again. Because of Moses’ prayer, the people are spared; but sin still has consequences. So, what happens to the people who grumbled and complained? The people who had forgotten who their God was and what He had done for them? They have to face the fact that they will not see the Promised Land - that land which God promised overflows with milk and honey.

What made the outliers different? They remembered who God was! They believed in His promises and trusted Him! They used their tongues to intercede, to worship, and to proclaim God’s faithfulness! In fact, this is what God says about one of those outliers, Caleb: “But my servant Caleb, because he has a different spirit and has followed me fully, I will bring into the land into which he went, and his descendants shall possess it” (Num. 14:24).

You see, we can’t simply stop complaining, stop sinning by ourselves. No, we need a different spirit, and when He gives us His Spirit, God will replace that sinful way with righteous living, with behaviors that exemplify what it means follow God fully. He will change our hearts, minds, souls, everything in us, even and especially what we do with our tongues. His Spirit initiates (and will complete!) a change from the inside out. From the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks (Luke 6:45).

This brings us back to Philippians, where Paul pleads with the church of Philippi, in Philippians 2:12-18:

“Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling,  for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.  Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all. Likewise you also should be glad and rejoice with me.”

We will become the outliers, like Caleb and Paul, who chose to proclaim God’s faithfulness

He will change us. We will speak life! Why? Because we will hold fast to the word of life - which is Christ Himself. And that life will make us stand out, making us shine as lights in the world, in a crooked and twisted generation. We will become the outliers, like Caleb and Paul, who chose to proclaim God’s faithfulness! So now, we can use our new hearts to rejoice, to lift up the name of our faithful God, and to intercede for others who do not. 

Therefore, as we see in Numbers, yes, there are lasting consequences of sin. The Israelites who complained and who did not trust the Lord did not get to see the Promised Land -- just like there are felt consequences to our own sin of complaining. Yet, God in his mercy, through Jesus, freed us from paying the wages of sin, the ultimate consequence, death itself. The beauty of life in Christ is that just as there are lasting consequences of sin, there are also lasting consequences to living by the Spirit. Like Caleb, we will see God’s goodness in the Promised Land.

So my prayer today for myself and for you, is that God would help us to follow the Holy Spirit inside of us, who is always helping us to follow God fully, and when faced with the giants in our lives, we will immediately use our tongues to worship the Lord, rejoice, and proclaim that He is faithful and good.

Epilogue:

In Numbers, Caleb was forty years old when he was identified as a man who follows God fully because he trusted in God’s promises and feared the Lord over men. We will see on day 85 in our reading plan, in Joshua 14, that Caleb follows God fully for the rest of his life. At 85 years old, Caleb is still fighting battles for the Lord. 

How can you follow God fully today? I have such hope that if God’s spirit gave Caleb the ability to follow him fully for the rest of his days, that the Holy Spirit will give us the ability as well, with our tongues, with our hearts, with our relationships, with our jobs, with our choices, with our everything.

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Jillian Vincent loves Jesus. She's a wife, mother of two boys and a Dayton enthusiast. Jillian currently is a stay at home mama and spends nap times writing and discipling other women. She would (almost) die for an avocado, a cup of coffee made by her husband, a novel that makes her cry, and a bouquet of sunflowers.

I have a confession to make. At first glance, I thought that Leviticus was just a big book of outdated rules. Chapter after chapter chronicles the rules and sins and required sacrifices. Usually, when I open my Bible up to Leviticus, I employ my best ever skim-reading skills and tell myself it’s important to read every word of the Bible. But this year, Leviticus has taken on a whole new meaning for me. It’s one of those situations where I never noticed Leviticus before, but now that I’ve noticed it, it’s EVERYWHERE. It’s in our small group study of Hebrews, it’s in a random article that someone shared on Facebook, and (believe it or not) ...it’s the book of the Bible that my pastor is preaching through on Sunday mornings.

We are sinners, every one of our sins requires a sacrifice

When I started to read through the book of Leviticus, I found that it is a large book of rules...but it is so much more than that. The book of Leviticus records all of the required sacrifices for the sins of the Israelites. Every single sin required a sacrifice, and this fact should not be lost on us. We are sinners, every one of our sins requires a sacrifice. In Leviticus, an animal’s life was given to save the life of a sinful person. But now, Jesus Christ has given his life to pay the penalty of our sin. The book of Leviticus also chronicles the importance of worship and the need for us to be clean when we go before God.

Then, in Leviticus 16, we come across a chapter full of rules for how the priest was to prepare himself before he was able to meet with God. On the day of atonement, the people confessed all of their sins as a nation (Lev. 16:20-22; 24-25; 34) and the high priest went into the Most Holy Place to make atonement. However, making atonement for the sins of all the people was not as simple as that. First, the priest was required to prepare himself.

• He was only allowed to enter the Most Holy Place on the day of atonement (Lev. 16:1-2).
• He was required to enter with sacrifices- a young bull, a ram, two male goats and a ram (Lev. 16:3;5)
• He was to bathe himself and then put on the sacred garments (Lev. 16:4)
• He had to make an offering for his own sin before covering the sins of the people (Lev. 16:6)
• He had to sacrifice animals to make atonement for the Most Holy Place, the Tent of Meeting and the altar (Lev. 16:15-19)
• Once he had finished sacrificing, he must come out and bathe himself and return to his clothes (Lev. 16:23-24)

This was a very thorough process of preparation (not to mention the actual sacrifice) to take on the atonement of the Israelites!

but Jesus is now the High Priest who has made one sacrifice for all, and for all eternity

Today, we have it much easier. The high priest of old was a sinful man that required making his own sacrifice for sin (Lev. 16:6; 11 ;32-33, ), but Jesus is now the High Priest who has made one sacrifice for all, and for all eternity (Hebrews 4:14; Hebrews 9:28).  The old system of sacrifice was temporary (Hebrews 8:13), but the new one under Christ is permanent (Hebrews 7:21). The old system needed perfect animals (Lev. 22:19-20), but the new system needed a perfect life (Hebrews 5:9). The Old Testament sacrifices required a very careful approach to the Most Holy Place (Lev. 16:2), but with Christ’s sacrifice we have “a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God. Therefore, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are- yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” (Hebrews 4:14-16)

What a privilege! What a gift! We can approach the very Holy of Holies with confidence. Not only that, but we can receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Too often, we overlook what it truly means to come before the actual throne of God- the actual Holy of Holies. While we are welcome to go before God through Christ Jesus whenever we please, too often we forget the sacrifice that occurred in order for that happen, too often we forget the holiness of the one that we are standing before. Sometimes, we need to step back from our current privileges of approaching the throne, and take time to prepare ourselves before we approach the throne. Our preparations will look different from Aaron the high priest, but they should still be regarded as extremely important in our prayer life. Let us attempt to prepare ourselves before God before we enter into the Holy of Holies.

In conclusion, here are some practical ways to prepare ourselves to head before the throne. Women of Dayton, let’s be intentional about preparing our hearts to go before the throne. Let us be grateful for the eternal gift of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. But let us remember that we are going before a holy God and he deserves our utmost respect and intentionality.

Practical Ways to Prepare Ourselves Before God:

• Right any wrongs that we have against others (Colossians 3:13)
• Confess our sins (1 John 1:9)
• Prepare our hearts (Psalms 51)
• Enter his presence with Thanksgiving (Psalms 100:4)
• Request supplication and place our needs at his feet (John 15:16)

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Suzanne Hines wants to live in a world where sunflowers bloom in eternal summer, where her children play instead of argue and where her family has an endless budget for travel. When she's not loving her husband, training and teaching her three children, and spreading education on the foster care system, you can find her writing, reading or running outside!

Her favorite Scripture is Romans 12:12 "...be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer..." (NIV)

Our team journal was written for you today by our Administrative Director, Christina Von Moll.

I sat next to my husband and listened to him pour out his frustrations of the day. He had spent the better part of his eight hour shift wrestling with one problem. This isn’t the first time I’ve lent an ear to this dilemma. He had been struggling to find the solution to this problem for weeks on end. Every day going into his office and spending hours writing algorithms to solve ONE problem. As I listen to his steady drawl, he said quite simply and without much flourish, “Maybe the problem has no solution.” My husband and I are similar in a lot of ways and we differ in a lot of ways. Where my husband is slow and steady, I tend to rush and stumble often. While he can work on a single problem for weeks, if the solution doesn’t come to me within the first hour I huff in frustration, give up, and move on.

Towards the end of 2017 I began praying about where the Lord would lead me in the new year. Some pretty impactful decisions lingered over our family and I was in desperate need for a direct answer. I needed to hear a YES or NO; I wanted wisdom and discernment. “Give me a word, Lord. Lead me this year in the way I should go!” He did lead me. Right to Matthew 6.

‘Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”’

Matthew 6:31-34

Seek first the kingdom. Do not be anxious. My plea back to the Lord, “That’s all well and good but how?!” Here he led me to Colossians 3:16.

“Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.”

— Colossians 3:16

Dwell richly. I wish I could say I was satisfied with that answer, after all it was wisdom straight from the Word of God, but I was not content. I didn’t have the time to seek the Kingdom first. What did dwelling richly even mean in the midst of my problem. I was frustrated. I exclaimed in my heart the words I had taken right from my husband, “maybe the problem has no solution!” Then in a moment of quiet reflection I heard that still small voice, “I AM.” There it was. The answer. Seek first his Kingdom, let his word dwell richly because no matter the problem, the Great I AM was the solution.

He wanted depth.
He wanted to dwell richly in me.

As I continued to reflect on this revelation in prayer I found my heart slowly backsliding into anxiety. Here’s the thing, I thought I had been seeking the Kingdom, I thought his Word was dwelling in me. I read my Bible, I went to all the studies, read all the books, listen to all the podcasts. I consumed all the things in the pursuit of the Kingdom. In my grasp for more knowledge, I forsook wisdom and thus became a fool. I was in shallow waters, letting his truth skim the surface because I had forgotten to go to his Word for the purpose of knowing Him. He wanted depth. He wanted to dwell richly in me. I was once again letting my relationship with the Lord be defined by my circumstances.

I was losing my grasp on the true answer by rushing into the practical. I was desperate for knowledge so I could make my own answer. In doing this, I was not letting the Word dwell richly. I was quenching the transformation that was offered to me from renewing my mind. I was too focused on getting more and more knowledge to have the right answer to this life problem. I was not seeking his Kingdom; I was seeking my own.

I was a prime example of missing the point. Sisters, don’t be afraid to let your time studying the Word be slow, giving it the opportunity to abide in you and enrich your heart. Growth in wisdom is a process that will span our entire Christian lives. Don’t strive for all the things with an expectation that you will have all the wisdom, and in doing so forget that the Lord is the one who gives wisdom. It isn’t about the YES or NO. It is about I AM.

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Christina wants to live in a world where coffee breaks are mandatory and kids actually sleep through the night. When she's not wrangling her two tiny children, you can find her binge-watching seasons of "The Office" or curled up with a good book and a cup of coffee.

Her favorite Scripture is 1 John 3:1-2, ESV.

Talents. Gifts. Skills. We all have them: things we excel at, things we can do well, things that bring us joy and confidence - even our finances can be tied to our capacity to conquer tasks and responsibilities within our workplaces.

There is something profound about the process of uncovering our God-given gifts. As children we have the uncanny ability to believe we can do, be, or achieve anything. We dream of being astronauts, doctors, and ballerinas. As we grow, we begin to take on dreams more rooted within our nature. For instance, I am afraid of heights, so being an astronaut was never a desire for me. I knew being jettisoned out into space would not be a career path I ever chose. This was confirmed many times over by the terror I felt as a child at the top of a swing set or climbing a tree. However, in the first grade, I wrote a “book” about a worm crawling around until he found an apple to inhabit. I’m sure this story was created out of my fascination with Richard Scarry's Busytown books. I can still remember the two being on the book covers and the joy of finding it hidden on many pages. Even back at that young, unbroken age, I recall wanting to spend my time putting words to work in my life.

Fast forward to adulthood, I’m not a professional author. I work in an office plugging away at a keyboard all day. But when I found myself at a new church five years ago, broken and alone, I felt the drive towards writing begin to propel me forward almost like it was carrying me. Yet, I had no idea how to release this fire inside. This burning inside continued until someone suggested I began blogging my journey with God to overcome some past wounds. As I began to type, awkwardly sharing my raw and vulnerable moments, I also began opening myself up to God’s plan for my words. I saw myself heal. He created additional opportunities for me to write -- devotionals for a 21-day fast my church held, and a testimony that was shared during a group healing session which was then included in a book written by my therapist. Had I closed myself off to the possibilities of writing or ignored that dream, my story may have never been able to help other women heal from traumas they had endured.

God had filled Bezalel with this gift of design because He had a particular purpose in mind for him

In Exodus 36-38, we find construction being done for the tabernacle and the Ark of the Covenant. But Moses isn’t actually the one doing the building. Moses is using his God-given skill set as a leader to develop this most important of projects (Ex. 39:42-43). We read how Moses has to listen intently to God’s instructions for guidance to get all the right materials. Moses has the laborers for the actual building - laborers with their own skill sets to help create everything the Lord had instructed be made. We know from the previous chapter that God chose artisan Bezalel. Why? Because the Word says the Lord gifted Him with the skill of artistic design. God had filled Bezalel with this gift because He had a particular purpose in mind for him - a highly important purpose - to build the tabernacle where God would come to meet with His people. We also know God assigned Oholiab to assist Moses due to his gifts in weaving and embroidery. Moses had to listen and obey God in the choosing of his laborers. If he had decided instead to go rogue the entire project would have been a disaster. The tabernacle and the Ark of the Covenant might still have been built, but the specifications God had set out before them may not have been met. The intimate relationship developed through obedience to God’s direction would have certainly been lost on Moses and the Israelites if they would have chosen another path.

Another element to point out from this stretch of time is that the tabernacle was being built before the Israelites had even come to the Promised Land of Canaan. They were still nomads traveling and grumbling through the desert to reach the land God had promised to them. So, like them, even during times of drought or despair, when we feel less than worthy, God is able to bring us to a place of unveiling who we are in Him. Many times it is during our desert seasons that we are made aware, and then made able, to sift through the places of life’s hurts only then to find the joy and blessing of being in Christ.

In our dry times...God is able to fill us in unimaginable ways...ways that are better than we think or believe are possible.

Five years ago when I set foot into that new church, I had discovered my husband was cheating on me and that he wanted a divorce. Devastated and broken, I walked in looking for hope. I found that, and so much more. But this true hope has come at a price I had to be willing to pay -- my life. Now I will happily give up my “self” any day of the week to be at the feet of God. We must be willing to listen, to seek, to obey, to praise, to worship, to study, to share, to teach and to learn at His feet in order to uncover who we are meant to be in the glorious Kingdom of Heaven. We must be like Moses when God sent him to free the Israelites - despite how we feel about ourselves and our abilities - we proclaim the name of Yahweh, the I AM. Because in our dry times, those times when we feel life is kicking us when we are down, when we believe we are isolated and alone, or that our prayers are going into an abyss, in those moments, that is when God is able to fill us in unimaginable ways. He is able to fill us in ways that are better than we think or believe are possible. What a beautiful blessing it is to rest in the knowledge that regardless of how unworthy we believe ourselves to be, that God thinks we are still worthy to do His works for His glorious kingdom. 

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Sonya Gentry wants to live in a world where being kind and loving means that when we encounter a need or brokenness, we say yes first and think about it second. This would be a world where walking with Jesus means trying to act like Jesus through loving, relevant acts of service; where Christians put their hands and feet in the dirty situations of the world in order to show people God’s love and grace; where we understand that comfort zones are meant to be broken because people need us to show up and be be the best portrayal of God’s love we can be. When she's not working, you can find her being silly with friends and family, playing games with her nephews, volunteering for various organizations and events with her church, or relaxing with a movie. 

Her favorite Scripture is John 15:16-17: “You have not chosen Me, but I have chosen you and I have appointed and placed and purposefully planted you, so that you would go and bear fruit and keep on bearing, and that your fruit will remain and be lasting, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name [as My representative] He may give to you. This [is what] I command you: that you love and unselfishly seek the best for one another” (AMP).