Timing. Much in life revolves around the right timing, and sometimes that timing can become a catalyst for changing the timing of other events in our lives.

I have to smile as I recall going to a discount overstock store to check out cheap carpeting options for a room in our home. The room had twenty-year-old threadbare carpet with several spots of decomposed pad peeking through in certain places. It was definitely time to look into options. After spending an hour trying to find just the right thing, we came out of the store and noticed a note on our car. Someone had hit our car - crushing the entire front passenger door! So, while we were originally planning on waiting a few years to save up money before trading in our car, this event became a catalyst that changed the timing of our plans.

On a lighter note, just a few days prior, my hubby and I decided to give a small end-of-year donation to an organization we support. Those who donated were entered into a raffle to win an all-expense-paid trip to Cape Town, South Africa. We won, and nine days later we found ourselves boarding a plane for a trip that we soon realized God had divine purposes for us being on. (Yep, that car issue had to wait until we got back.)

...and sometimes that timing can become a catalyst for changing the timing of other events in our lives.

Circumstances and timing affects all of us -- whether it is an unexpected phone call, a surprise gift, an open door, a military relocation, a foster care request, a change in employment status, or an illness complicated by insurance issues. Sometimes we groan over the timing of circumstances. Other times, we grin. In our reading this week, we get to experience both. I want to direct your attention to a beautiful connection I noticed as I was reading in 2 Kings 4:8-37 and then 2 Kings 8:1-7. In 2 Kings chapter 4, we are introduced to a wealthy woman who lived in Shunem. If you’ve never had the privilege of going on an immersive study trip to Israel, Shunem seems like just another two syllable name of a random town. So let me give you a little background as to what is going on here.

Shunem was located on the western slope of the Hill of Moreh in the region of Galilee, situated along one of two main trading routes connecting Africa, Asia, and Europe. News of any events happening in this area would have easily spread since it was positioned in a place of influence. It was here in the village of Shunem that the prophet Elisha met a wealthy couple. The wife invited Elisha to eat with them, and so he did each time he passed through. Recognizing him as a prophet of God, they built a small private room on the roof of their home where Elisha could stay whenever he traveled through.

After enjoying their hospitality for a period, Elisha sought what he could do for them in return. Understanding that the husband was old and that they had no son to be an heir, he prophesied that she would hold a son in her arms by the following time next year. Just as Elisha foretold, she gave birth to a son. The child grew into a young boy, but one day while out in the field with his father, he became suddenly ill and died. Distraught, the woman laid him in Elisha’s room, saddled a donkey, and set off on a 20-mile journey to Mount Carmel to tell Elisha, which took about 5 hours. Following the Shunammite woman back to her home, Elisha entered the room where the dead child lay. Then, by the strength of God, Elisha raised the child back to life.

As you can imagine, word of this amazing miracle spread like wildfire up and down the international trade route! The town, neighboring villages, and travelers passing through all would have heard. All would have been amazed to learn someone had been resurrected from the dead! From then on, Shunem would be renown for such a miraculous event. Interestingly, in New Testament times, just over the hill there was a town called Nain where Jesus miraculously raised a widow’s son from the dead. People in the region would have recounted the well-known story of Elisha’s miracle nearby and connected Jesus with the prophets of old. (Jesus did nothing unintentionally!)

But let’s skip ahead to the remainder of this Shunammite’s story found in 2 Kings 8:1-6. Here we read that Elijah warned the woman and her family to leave the land for seven years because God was going to send a famine. She and her family went away and stayed in the land of the Philistines (which was along the eastern Mediterranean Sea). Returning seven years later, she discovered their former property had been taken over by a stranger in their absence and went to King Joram to appeal for her house and land.

I am going to choose to be grateful that I serve a good and gracious God who is writing the narrative details of my story.

And here’s where timing comes in. At the exact moment, the Shunammite woman is there to appeal to the king, the king was making an inquiry into all the great things Elisha had done. And Gehazi (Elisha’s servant) was sharing how Elisha had brought the Shunammite’s son back to life. Talk about perfect timing! Only God could orchestrate that conversation at that moment between those two people while bringing the woman back into the land to see the state of things, journey to see the king, and present herself at that exact moment she came up in the conversation! The king listened to her story and not only restored her property, but also reimbursed any income she may have lost while being gone those seven years.

The next time I am tempted to groan (or perhaps grin) over the timing of events in my life, I am going to remind myself of this beautiful connection in Scripture. I am going to choose to be grateful that I serve a good and gracious God who is writing the narrative details of my story. He is quite capable. And His timing is always intentional.

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Jackie Perseghetti wants to live in a world where every human realizes they are walking wounded and in need of God’s grace. Her heart is to be God’s person at God’s time in the life of another and she looks for God-given moments to breathe life and encouragement. When Jackie is not going on adfuntures with her hubby (adventure with fun at the center) or teaching drums or the art of papercrafting, you can find her digging in her garden, storytelling to her grandkids, or sharing the stirrings of her heart at  www.smallstepsintofreedom.wordpress.com  She takes great comfort in her favorite Bible verses: Isaiah 41:10 and Isaiah 46:4.

 Kol d’mama de kah. I remember the first time I heard the word spoken. I twirled it around in my mouth, and tried to braid it with my tongue before regurgitating it back to those around me. It was at another staff meeting at Back2Back Ministries, and our co-founder, Beth Guckenberger, was doing a short teaching on the Hebrew word.

Kol d’mama de kah literally means a gentle whisper. It’s also the word used to describe a mother speaking to her newborn baby or the unintelligible murmurings of two lovers together. In these tender moments, only mother and baby understand can each other and the two lovers would be completely in sync. Beth shared these meanings with us and then jumped to the book of 1 Kings where Elijah is called to God’s mountain, Mount Horeb.

To live in a broken world means each of us is head butting moments from which we’d rather escape.

When we settle in with Elijah in 1 Kings 19, he is at the end of his rope. He’s exhausted, he’s sick of running, and sees greater value in being called home than in continuing on. Most important of all, he’s searching for a moment of clarity with the Lord. The Message translation says Elijah shouts, “Enough of this God!” (v. 4.) The ESV translates it this way: “It is enough now; O Lord. . .” Now I’ve never had to run cross-country in order to try to preserve my life, but every fiber of my being wants to put my hand on Elijah’s shoulder and whisper, I see you, brother. To live in a broken world means each of us is head butting moments from which we’d rather escape.

God and His angels aren’t content to allow Elijah to make his exit just yet, though. They rouse him, begging him to eat more than once and then an angel instructs him to head to Mount Horeb, to hear from the Lord.

So, Elijah climbs the mountain to wait for the Lord. He’s met with a great wind, tearing down rocks from the mountainside, but he doesn’t find God there. Then, an earthquake shakes the ground beneath him, but still God isn’t there. Next, a fire. But He is not be found in the flames either.

And after the fire the sound of a low whisper (v. 12) - Elijah was met instead with a low whisper, or a kol d’mama de kah.

How often do we search for God in the major things? The Creator of the oceans and stars will surely show up in ways that are noticeable to many, right? I, like Elijah, have searched for God in the fire, the earthquake, and the strong wind – maybe not literally, but I am searching for cloud formation sentences, or the flickering of power in the midst of trial. I look for clear, obvious, obnoxious evidence of the Lord speaking to me. But when did I start believing that God was obnoxiously loud?

The more I read Scripture, the more I learn about Him, and the more comfortable I become with knowing Him as intimate God. He is intimate with me. I am His child; like a newborn cradled in the arms of its parent, focused solely on the voice of the One who knows me thoroughly. I am loved by Him; every intricacy He has seen, memorized, and still adored. I, like Elijah, wouldn’t have thought to quiet my expectations, be still, and wait for His tenderness, but goodness I am humbled and silenced when He shows up gentle and sweet for me.

“The Lord was expressing to Elijah that He is not always found in the big demonstration: the fire, the earthquake, or the powerful wind. [We] will find him in this intimate exchange where His face is drawn close to [ours] and all others are now blurred . . . this is where His voice is the clearest.”
- Beth Guckenberger, Start with Amen

I, like Elijah, wouldn’t have thought to quiet my expectations, be still, and wait for His tenderness

I want intimacy with God. I want to crave that more than any drawn out kiss from a man or guttural belly laugh with a friend. I want to come to understand His knowing of me and what that means for my narrative. I want fires and earthquakes and raging winds to pass by, and I can smile knowingly and say, “nah, He’s coming in quiet, just for me.” Because He always does come. I forget it often, and lose sight of this story and just how much Elijah and I have in common.

Praise God that we have a Poppa who isn’t fickle like His children. He continues to pursue us with tenderness and an all-encompassing love. I want a thousand tiny moments of me and Jesus, forehead to forehead, so focused on each other that the mental illness, the stress, the comparison, and the wondering where everything is going to end up blurs, and I just see Him. I want that, over and over again, for the rest of my days. I want a life defined by kol d’mama de kah – quiet exchanges where the world takes its rightful second place in comparison to my Maker.

Poppa, cultivate in me an insatiable desire for you. Lord God, slow my pace and help me remember just how much I desire intimate moments for just You and me. Amen.

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 Steph Duff wants to live in a world where every human, whether small or regular-sized, learns to use their voice and is seen and known. When she's not traveling and story telling with Back2Back Ministries, you'll likely find her drinking excessive cups of coffee, with her nose in a book, or daydreaming about India. Her favorite scripture is Habakkuk 1:5, and she prays for a world in which Jesus is the name on every lip. Learn a little more about her love for semi-colons, what stirs her blood, and the yearnings of her heart over at www.stephaniduff.wordpress.com.

”As in water face reflects face,
so the heart of man reflects the man.”
- Proverbs 27:19

There’s something particularly breathtaking for me about a good metaphor. Whether it invites me to ruminate on how irises grow or the structural strength of triangles, those bits of imagery remind me to look for depth and beauty in the midst of the mundane and notice how little things can showcase to us a glimpse of God. There is so much that goes on around me that I miss, that I simply overlook. Why? Because I’ve believed the lie that simplicity lacks insight, and I’ve forgotten that small can still be significant. I’ve found what I need most sometimes is to just stop, linger a bit, and take a good look at the world around me.  A few words penned by Solomon in Proverbs 27:19 extended just such an invitation to me this week: “As in water face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects the man.”

Every morning, at some point in time, I enter our bathroom. And there is no hiding from my reflection in the large mirror that is poised above the sink. Whether I deem the mirror unforgiving or unuseful, this has no opinion of what it holds. It simply shows me what is there. Today as I brushed my teeth, that little proverb from the Word converged with a sliver of Sylvia Plath’s poem The Mirror: “Now I am a lake. A woman bends over me, searching my reaches for what she really is.” I looked up from the sink and at the frothy-mouthed figure that stood looking back at me. What am I, indeed?

It’s a familiar yet haunting question. And it’s not one that can be answered with words or appearances, but with a heart, with a life. I am afraid of my heart, afraid of what it hides and what it loves. It can be unruly and wild - both terribly and wonderfully impassioned. And yet, what does it reflect? What am I? Who am I, really?

If I am what my heart reflects, how do I see it? How can I rightly see what I am?

I think of what the Lord said to Samuel when he was sent to anoint David as the next king: “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” (1 Sam. 16:7)

I am faced with the reality that I cannot even rightly see myself without the Lord. It is His unimpaired clarity and unfathomable wisdom that I must ultimately rely on to even begin to look at my heart as it truly is, marred by errant desire and selfishness, inclined toward lesser loves, yet redeemed. Wholly redeemed.

I am faced with the reality that I cannot even rightly see myself without the Lord.

It’s somewhere in the mashup of what I was and what I will be that I find what I am. I was unholy, unrighteous, unfaithful, ungodly. But through Christ, these things have been overcome and put to death. He has completed His work - which now gives me freedom. I am being refined from the things that oppose God. The purity of His character is being etched in me and that which is unlike Him removed - this process continues until all that remains is a reflection of the perfect manifestation of His heart, Jesus. But until Jesus is all my heart reflects, my prayer must be as that of David in Psalm 51, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” Confronted by the words of God through the prophet Nathan, David could no longer hide from his reflection. He hated what he saw and turned to God for forgiveness and redemption. For that was the only place he could find it.

So what am I? I have been broken, but I am made whole. I have been consumed by sin, but I am made holy. I was dead, but I have been made alive. I am a reflection of Christ at work, of a history of redemption, of insurmountable grace, of unsurpassable love. Due to Jesus’ sanctifying presence in my life, I am a re-creation in process.

And you, sister, all this can be true for you too! Because of Jesus, only ever because of Jesus. It is through Him that perpetual renewal is found and in Him that we can overcome our initial, innate reflection of a fallen world. We do not have to conform to what we see around us, but we can image something greater, something brighter. In this darkening world, our hearts can reflect hope.

God, as we carry on throughout the week, through late night shifts, meals alone, diaper changes and carpool lanes, help us to be unafraid and ask You to show us our hearts. We ask You to reveal to us the light and darkness that struggle within. We ask You to come in and renovate the places where we need to better reflect You in the core of who we are. May we turn to You first when we question our identities, when we wonder what we are. May we remember we are Yours, for Your glory forever and ever, we are Yours. Amen.

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Robin Zastrow wants to live in a world where coffee never gets cold and kindness abounds. When she's not discovering the wonders of construction paper and cardboard tubes with her two little ones, you can find her sneaking in another few pages of a book or jotting down bits of writing on scraps of paper.

One of her favorite Scriptures is:
“Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you.” Psalm 33:20-22 ESV

Last night I set my alarm clock for 6 AM. Sounds pretty normal, right? But no, it’s not for me. I’ve been an on again, off again alarm clock user ever since I’ve had my children. Usually my kids wake me up, or my husband wakes me up with “coffee o’clock” - that sweet morning tradition we’ve had since we were newly wedded - he simply sets down a fresh cup of coffee next to my bed which is my cue that the day has begun. So why in the world did I set my alarm this morning? Because God has given me vineyards! Let me explain.

Proverbs 24:30-34 reads:

“I passed by the field of a sluggard, by the vineyard of a man lacking sense, and behold, it was all overgrown with thorns; the ground was covered with nettles, and its stone wall was broken down. Then I saw and considered it; I looked and received instruction. A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man.”

This is not the first time we have read this in the Proverbs. And I have learned the value in paying attention to the places God repeats Himself. By doing so, He is emphasizing a point, tilting our chin up to focus on its importance.

Proverbs 6:6-11 also calls out the sluggard and the wise:

“Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise. Without having any chief, officer, or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest. How long will you lie there, O sluggard? When will you arise from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber and want like and armed man.”

As I was reading this, I began a conversation with the Holy Spirit. “Hey God. I’m not sleeping enough as it is. Can’t I just sleep until I HAVE to wake up?” I think the answer is yes. I could sleep just a little longer. But according to Proverbs, that little sleep would make me a sluggard.

You see, work is a gift from God. We don’t need to work for our salvation, but we work as a form of worship. God created us with the drive to work in the very beginning. He also gave us common sense. But the Fall changed everything! It warped our common sense, and gave us expectations of blossoming vineyards without the need for worshipful work - work that God has blessed us with to be able to grow and maintain these very vineyards. In the miracle of your own redemption, He has also redeemed your work - not that you would toil out of fear or work for all your wants, but that you’d work as worship, that it would come from the overflow of your heart.

We have all been given a vineyard. Look around you. What has God given you to steward?

We have all been given a vineyard. Look around you. What has God given you to steward? It doesn’t take me long to identify my own -- relationships with a husband and children, a home, my church and community, this very ministry and the Hosea Bible study, and my body and health. I could go on and on. His goodness is astounding. When I stop to consider all the vineyards before us, I see two very important tools God gave for us to be able to tend them. First, God has given us common sense, and second God has also given us a Helper, the Holy Spirit. Sisters, it’s not only okay to rest, it is ordained by God that you do so. God has given BOTH work and rest, but this proverb indicates that there is something off about the sluggards’ balance of these two paradigms.

For instance, if I have kept myself up watching Netflix late into the evening and then I sleep past my alarm clock, then I am not tending my vineyards well. In fact, what I am actually doing is missing out on time for valuable, worshipful work. Now, is watching Netflix wrong? Nope. I love me some The Crown! But what does common sense and the Holy Spirit tell me after reading Proverbs? That my entertainment better not leave me un-rested for the work that God has set before me. That kind of “rest” is not of the Lord, because it is, in all reality, no rest at all.

On the contrary, if a baby kept me awake all night for three nights in a row, then I have been awake tending my vineyards of my children, and common sense would tell me to now tend the vineyard of my body by sleeping. Deep breaths, ladies. It is okay to rest. And when I am unsure, I can ask God to help me figure out the right choice, and trust His leading. My prayer is this: Thank you Lord for creating rest. Thank you Lord for creating work. Show me your discernment.

Our little choices are really the big choices, sisters. There are no little choices in the Kingdom of God.

Notice, it was not “a lot” of sleep that caused the sluggard poverty, but just a smidge. Our little choices are really the big choices, sisters. There are no little choices in the Kingdom of God. It was but two loaves and 5 fish that ended up feeding the 5,000. It was but one hand that reached out to Jesus’ garment that then healed the same woman that had bled for 12 years. It was just two coins that the widow gave that earned her praise from the mouth of Jesus and also served to convict all the stingy givers.

Like the ant, I don’t seemingly have any boss or ruler. As a stay at home mom, I have great freedom over my schedule. But the truth is, I answer to God, who sees all my choices, big and small, just as He sees the ants choices. So, for the joy set before me, I’m repenting of my loafing around, and I’m setting my alarm clock. I’m going to wake up to worship God in the middle of my vineyards...ahem...HIS vineyards.

So, sisters, let’s take time to consider even our smallest of choices, as the writer of Proverbs tells us to do, and hold them open to the Lord for instruction. Where are you folding your hands when God has given you no jurisdiction to do so? Yes, you absolutely can sleep a little longer, but make sure it is the Holy Spirit’s leading that you do so.

Epilogue: This morning my alarm went off at 6, and I woke up very proud of myself. I got up, read my Bible, and went on a jog, only to return and realize that my phone was still set to central time from our travels out west. It was actually an entire hour past when I thought it was!

Even when we try, we fall short, but He still chooses to bless our intentions and attempts at obeying Him.

Yet, praise God, He still blessed my mishap. He gave me time with Him, time tending to my body, all while my kids slept a little later than normal. Clearly, Jesus is the only one capable of perfect obedience. Even when we try, we fall short, but He still chooses to bless our intentions and attempts at obeying Him.

Rest your heart here, sister. God has not folded His hands on you, yet, and He never will. Where our hearts are sluggish, God’s heart is bound and determined for us. When you are not “feeling it” on a certain day, lean into Jesus. He is the one that gives us the blessing of obedience, and the blessings from obedience.

Jesus is the best alarm clock.

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Jillian Vincent loves Jesus. She's a wife, mother of two boys and a Dayton enthusiast. Jillian currently is a stay at home mama and spends nap times writing and discipling other women. She would (almost) die for an avocado, a cup of coffee made by her husband, a novel that makes her cry, and a bouquet of sunflowers.

Today’s team journal is written by our Bible Study Director, Lauren Steckling.

I am a planner. Maybe not to the extent of my mom, but I feel ‘in control’ when I have all the details worked out and my time is scheduled. I make to-do lists, packing lists, errand lists...even when my daughter was a baby, I went crazy to have her feeding, napping, and even pooping recorded so I would know her schedule. We are leaving on a short trip soon, and for the last week I have had lists of lists, just so that we don’t forget anything!

In reality, things don’t always go to plan.

This week, God is teaching me (probably for the hundredth time) that I am not the one in control. In reality, things don’t always go to plan. An unexpected trip to the Emergency Room with my grandparents kept me from keeping my 3:30 appointment for an oil change. And a later night at house church had me doing laundry instead of going to bed, and then we had a toddler who woke up two hours earlier than normal which threw the entire day’s schedule upside down.

Now mind you, having a plan and a schedule is not a bad thing. In fact, I would say in a lot of cases it’s wise to have a plan, but the issue is more of how I react when that plan doesn’t happen the way I think it should. I have to admit that I’m not always the most flexible person. I would say most planner type personalities struggle with being flexible. My family used to quote an old stage play Lost in Yonkers when things didn’t happen the way I thought they should -- “That’s not how I had it pictured!” -- we would say. They said this because I tended to have a picture in my head of how something should be, and anything other than that, to me, was wrong. I was reading this morning in my DWITW 365 reading plan Psalm 139 when the Lord spoke to me about this very issue.

As my cranky toddler was played with my “Bible pens” instead of sleeping and our half-packed bags lay next to me, God was telling me to lay all my plans down at his feet. He spoke to me using the first 6 verses which says:

O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.

He knows my heart - my desire to be in control, my sin, my frustration when “the plan” goes to pot, and even my anxiety over it all. But praise the Lord that He is ultimately the one in control so I don’t have to be! And His plans are far better than my own. I could point to countless stories in my life where things didn’t happen the way I wanted them to. In every single one of those situations, it is clear that God had other plans for me and that His plan was SO MUCH BETTER than what I could have even imagined. Some of my best friends, best memories, and even my daughter were the result of God taking over, and making his plans preeminent over mine.

His plans are far better than mine and that He is worthy to be trusted.

This has been a struggle of mine for as long as I can remember. “That’s not how I had it pictured!” was easily one of the most quoted phrases in my house growing up (and trust me, we’re a family of quoters), but praise God that He doesn’t give up on us when we don’t get something the first, or even the hundredth, time. He continues to remind me that His ways are greater than my ways. His plans are far better than mine and that He is worthy to be trusted. So although it’s hard to let my plans go, I will choose to start today with open hands knowing God will do amazing things in my weakness, and I hope you are able to do the same!

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Lauren Steckling wants to live in a world where donuts have no calories, weekends last longer, and everyone would feel the grace and peace that comes knowing their Savior Jesus. When she's not taking care of her toddler, you can find her sewing, baking, or with her nose in a good book.

Her favorite Scripture is Isaiah 41:10, ESV: "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
- Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV

Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track.
- Proverbs 3:5-6 MSG

Sometimes I think Solomon wrote these words just for me, though he didn’t realize it at the time. As I read them, and re-underline them, I think maybe the good Lord was on His throne, giving Solomon these words while He was thinking about a brown-haired, green-eyed woman who would need them desperately over and over again in her life.

Trust is a tricky thing for me, friends. I used to feel shame to admit that – whether it was related to a friendship, to a family member, to a significant other. I felt, somewhere deep in my gut, that if I admitted I struggled with trust, it was a reflection of my own heart. These days, I’m learning just being honest about it all is a practice of living freer. It doesn’t mean it’ll always be easy. It doesn’t mean it’ll always go smoothly. But if I give space to myself, and to those in my life, to speak honestly, we will be living life more openly.

He, alone, deserves me believing the best of Him, trusting Him wholly, and praising Him every inch I step.

Like many other people I know, I’ve been cheated on. I’ve been lied to while looking someone in the eye. I’ve been misled, let down, and deeply hurt. In the last two years I’ve learned a great deal about trauma, the effects it has on the brain, and how we operate in relationships as a result of said trauma. Previous relationships and key people in my story who’ve hurt me or melded their lives with mine in dishonesty have left me expecting fallacy to be discourse. As I grow and mature and learn, I realize just how unfair that can be to new people; it is something I am continually fighting and butting my head up against.

It is unfair to people because I believe we deserve to have the best believed of us. But we are all human, aren’t we? Which means, no matter our best intentions, no matter how honest we live and love, we will let each other down. But God.

The One giving Solomon the words, the One speaking through literature or music or nature to His kids, He doesn’t let us down. His plans may not be what we had in mind for ourselves, but He does not disappoint. He, alone, deserves me believing the best of Him, trusting Him wholly, and praising Him every inch I step. The truth is, though, He’s often who I trust the least, in times of wilderness. Never mind that sometimes those moments of wilderness are the sum of my own choices, of me believing I can do it on my own, make the better choice, figure out the details.

When I stop listening for God’s voice, when I stop discussing even the minor details with Him, I end up turned around and mistrusting of everyone. One of my favorite quotes was first spoken by author and speaker, Maya Angelou. She says, “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.”

He calls us to all corners of the earth, meets us there, and begins a healing we weren’t aware we needed.

I consider the Creator of the universe. I think about, in the garden, how He calls to Adam and Eve, “Where are you?” even though we all know He knew just where they were. I think about the cross and crucifixion and what that means for me. I consider the healing, with a touch of a hand, the tables shared with prostitutes and lepers and tax collectors. I consider the first time I fully understood that He does, without question, bring goodness from the most heartbreaking of circumstances. I think about how He calls us to all corners of the earth, meets us there, and begins a healing we weren’t aware we needed.

Then I meditate on trust. On all the times I’ve not given it over to Him, but instead to people who would fail me simply because of their mortality. When people show you who they are, believe them the first time. Our Father is one who shows up and stays – without question, regardless of where we’re coming from, unhesitant before our sinful living. Why do I hesitate to give my trust over to the One who will never stop showing up, chasing after, pulling near?

Lord God, forgive me all those moments I’ve put trust in the backseat of our relationship. Forgive me for all the times to come that I will be prone to do the same. Jesus, allow me to have an open heart to You, recalling all the ways you’ve never failed, never left, never lost grip on my heart. Amen.

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Steph Duff wants to live in a world where every human, whether small or regular-sized, learns to use their voice and is seen and known. When she's not traveling and story telling with Back2Back Ministries, you'll likely find her drinking excessive cups of coffee, with her nose in a book, or daydreaming about India. Her favorite scripture is Habakkuk 1:5, and she prays for a world in which Jesus is the name on every lip. Learn a little more about her love for semi-colons, what stirs her blood, and the yearnings of her heart over at www.stephaniduff.wordpress.com.

How often are our prayers asking God to do something specific for us (as if He is a genie)? Or, maybe they end up being requests for Him to clear the difficulties so that our walk to where we think we are headed will be easier? How often are those prayers answered? And maybe the bigger question is how often are they not?

I can tell you from personal experience that when I feel as if my prayers are going into a bottomless abyss, I find myself distracted and discouraged. I find myself agonizing over these prayers. It often ends up creating anxiety within me that my rational, Christ-loving, God-fearing self knows to be crazy and ridiculous. But my irrational control-freak self still feels helpless because I can’t make happen what I want to happen.

Similarly, when I read about King Solomon, my mind tends to drift off a bit. I wonder just what it would have been like to have a life with all the wisdom, power, money and success he was given. Comparatively, my poor-as-a-church-mouse way of thinking could only dream to have such things, while the other (more rational) side of me believes it was probably more work than it was worth. But the bottom line is, in 1 Kings 3, Solomon asks God for wisdom to be able to rule his people well. God answered his prayer. Simple as that. Solomon was faithful and obedient to the decrees that David left and therefore honored the godly lineage. Solomon loved God...but that did not make him perfect. Even with all of that wealth, wisdom, and power - he made some mistakes.

Despite having unimaginable wisdom,
even Solomon fell short of walking the correct path at all times.

Solomon still worshipped in the wrong locations and allowed temples for other false gods to be built (knowing full well these were sins against Yahweh). Despite having unimaginable wisdom, even Solomon fell short of walking the correct path at all times. So, when my prayers go unanswered, and I begin to wonder if it’s due to my lack of faith or obedience, it’s a helpful  reminder to me to see that King Solomon had all the wisdom in the world, yet he, too, was unable to maintain a perfect walk. The other bright side is, God still answered his prayers. God was perfectly faithful to Solomon, even when Solomon aimed to be faithful to God, albeit imperfectly.

My day to day life can either run super-boring or mega-busy. Fortunately, I live an amazing life. I’m surrounded by amazing people and I am blessed, at times, to support those amazing people in their moments of need  (either through prayer or through other measures). I actually tend to find myself “butting” into their lives as often as possible. Most frequently, I find myself in prayer for them. Sometimes it’s for their salvation, sometimes it’s for financial difficulties, and often it’s for physical or emotional healing.

I am learning though that while I always want to be the person that is effective in caring for hurts, I am not always the person that has the perfect  answers or the right words to bring peace. I certainly don’t have the ability (beyond prayer) to bring miraculous healing. Therefore, my frustration level of feeling helpless and “only” being able to offer up prayers rises. While l I know prayer is the greatest and most powerful thing I can do, it also feels as if I am not quite doing enough. I’m an action type of girl. I want to dive into the problem and come up with a solution. Thus, I find myself in prayer, begging God at times to intervene on behalf of my people. That is when I find myself following Solomon’s example in the Psalms, praising God for His love towards the people I love. I pray this way, in as much passion and purity as I can, knowing my heart is fallen and flawed. I know full well that the love God feels (with His perfect, merciful heart) is much bigger than anything I could ever hope to offer up to someone.

The love God feels with His perfect, merciful heart is much bigger than anything I could ever hope to offer up to someone.

The problem is, no matter how often I pray for the right words or the right actions, rarely do I feel as if I have been given the wisdom of Solomon. Solomon, the man who cunning enough to suggest cutting a baby in half. I cannot even imagine being that baby’s mother. Yet that was one of his most well-known judgments. Even people now who don’t follow Christ know about this judgment. Anyone with any parental instincts would have let the baby go to other woman rather than sacrifice its very life. And yet, just today in trying to finish up this post, I prayed for wisdom. I prayed for the words to give to each of you - words that might encourage and set you off in the right path for what your journey is supposed to be for the next six months or year. And I can quite honestly state, I do not feel as if I’ve been given such knowledge.

So as I sit here on a Saturday night, struggling to find words, feeling somewhat frustrated, lonely, even scared for some of the things I believe may occur in my future (definitely wondering what the next 6 months, or even the next year of my life looks like), I know my obedience to walk the walk I have been called to for the kingdom needs to remain first and foremost. And while I have no real idea what the future may hold, I can say this: whatever path we are on, as long as we are loving God, working diligently to maintain that obedience, and setting our eyes on the path that He has chosen for us, I think we will be ok. Will we have fame and fortune, riches and wisdom like Solomon? Maybe, maybe not. More power to you girl, if that happens! I, however, believe that I will continue to be shouting out prayers to God begging Him for help for my loved ones - healing for their physical bodies, security for their finances, and salvation for their hearts. And I think I’m just fine with it.           

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Sonya Gentry wants to live in a world where being kind and loving means that when we encounter a need or brokenness, we say yes first and think about it second. This would be a world where walking with Jesus means trying to act like Jesus through loving, relevant acts of service; where Christians put their hands and feet in the dirty situations of the world in order to show people God’s love and grace; where we understand that comfort zones are meant to be broken because people need us to show up and be be the best portrayal of God’s love we can be. When she's not working, you can find her being silly with friends and family, playing games with her nephews, volunteering for various organizations and events with her church, or relaxing with a movie. 

Her favorite Scripture is John 15:16-17: “You have not chosen Me, but I have chosen you and I have appointed and placed and purposefully planted you, so that you would go and bear fruit and keep on bearing, and that your fruit will remain and be lasting, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name [as My representative] He may give to you. This [is what] I command you: that you love and unselfishly seek the best for one another” (AMP).

Today’s team journal was written by our Administrative Director, Christina Von Moll.

Toward the end of 2017, my husband and I began praying about the next step in his career. We decided that the time was right for him to go back to school and get his Ph.D. Initially, I felt peace and was able to let myself be overjoyed and proud. I knew that the Lord had already gone before us so as to prepare a foundation of faith. And He had also given us an amazing support network of loving friends and family to help us through this next season of raising tiny ones and navigating higher level education at the same time. Plus, the Lord had just brought me through a season of shattering idols (you can listen to that testimony here), and during that season He opened my eyes to the gracious and loving community He had placed right in front of me. He has graciously continued to grow my affection for my local church and my city - Dayton has become home and my church has become family. I was in a good place. My family was in a good place. Life was in a good place.

Then, the Ph.D. curveball came. My husband and I then had to decide between two schools - one of which was about 2500 miles away from everything we knew and loved, and the other which was much nearer to home. Should we leave or should we stay? Our hearts were torn between two amazingly great choices.

It was in the process of deciding that the Lord met us and led us to be fully surrendered to Him, trusting in His leading. The process gave us a more in-depth knowledge of our loving Father. From the first moment we, as a family, decided to go full steam ahead into the Ph.D. program, I must have flip-flopped about 400 times between feelings of anxiety and excitement. Then throw in a potential cross-country move and newborn baby into the mix, and suffice it to say that “trust in the Lord” was not where my heart was leaning.

Our eyes were opened, and instead of seeing potential trials we saw endless opportunities for grace, love, and glory.

But God, in His goodness, led me through that season by showing me that peace and wisdom could be found by seeking first His Kingdom. The key in this season was to allow His Word to dwell in me richly. As I approached the Word with fresh eyes and an expectancy to know the Lord in a deeper way, I began to see that He is trustworthy, He is totally FOR us, and no matter what we decided to do, He would be glorified.

I cannot even begin to describe the peace that came over me in the moment that the Holy Spirit made that truth click in my heart and mind. If we left our support network for a new city far away from everything we had known, He would be glorified. And if we stayed to face the uncertainty of funding and various other unknowns, He would still be glorified. If we left, He would provide. If we stayed, He would provide - even if not in the ways we imagined. A deep relief rested in my soul with this understanding. This relief, or peace, came from choosing to trust God - even in the unknown. We also experienced freedom which came from being surrendered to His will. We simply wanted Christ to be glorified in us. Our eyes were opened, and instead of seeing potential trials we saw endless opportunities for grace, love, and glory. We trusted that our God was big and that He would move on our behalf, establishing our steps. When we finally made the choice to stay, with our eyes fixed on Him (Heb. 12:1-2) and our hearts set to give Him glory in it all (1 Cor. 10:31), our path was made straight.

In life, we face choices every day. Some have a definite right answer, and some don’t. Whether big or small, when we face these non-moral choices with a trust in God and full assurance that He will take our choice and turn it for our good and His glory (Rom. 8:28). Ultimately, we know that we can trust in the One who made the way, and lean not on our own understanding of what the “way” should be (Proverbs 3:5-6). As we will be reminded of in our Summer Study on Hosea, this is where we will truly find peace.

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Christina Von Moll wants to live in a world where coffee breaks are mandatory and kids actually sleep through the night. When she's not wrangling her two tiny children, you can find her binge-watching seasons of "The Office" or curled up with a good book and a cup of coffee.

Her favorite Scripture is 1 John 3:1-2, ESV.

David is known as a man after God’s own heart (1 Samuel 13:14). He was the prince that would replace the king who failed to fulfill the commands of the Lord. He was the conquering king; the man raised on high; the anointed of the God of Jacob; and the sweet psalmist of Israel (2 Samuel 23:1). David was highly favored by both men and God because of His character. His army would do anything for him because he was an honorable man. For instance, even when he requested water from the guarded gates of Bethlehem, three of his mighty men broke through the camp of the Philistines and drew water out of the well of Bethlehem and brought it to David. But David, wanting to honor God, did not drink of it. Instead, he poured it out as a sacrifice to the LORD.

David was clearly committed to his God, and he had learned to trust him through the difficulties he endured while being pursued by Saul for 20 years.  All throughout his running David only did what pleased God.  Even when he had the opportunity to kill Saul he refrained (1 Samuel 24) which showed that he was a man of integrity.  David had a history of triumphant victories in the name of his God, which he sang of often, as we see in the Psalms. So, why then, did God choose to incite David against Israel?

”Again the anger of the Lord was kindled against Israel, and he incited David against them, saying, 'Go, number Israel and Judah.'”
- 2 Samuel 24:1

What we as individuals do with our folly brings forth our true character.

Although God loved and cherished David, He also wanted Israel to put their trust in Him alone. David proceeded to call a census and did not follow the requirements that the Lord commanded in those days. He too acted foolishly as his predecessor had. God knew that David would realize and repent of his ways, and therefore prove to be a tangible example of repentance for God’s people.

Often leaders falter and fail God’s people, but this does not mean that we should abandon them. Just because they don’t meet every requirement of the law perfectly, we don’t abandon them but rather we see that they too are just like us.  This should prove to be a source of encouragement and strength for God’s people. What we as individuals do with our folly brings forth our true character. Do we remain in our folly or do we recognize and readily confess the error of our ways?

”But David's heart struck him after he had numbered the people. And David said to the LORD, 'I have sinned greatly in what I have done. But now, O Lord, please take away the iniquity of your servant, for I have done very foolishly.'” 
- 2 Samuel 24:10

When we covenant with the LORD, we can rely on His Spirit to convict us - not so that we experience shame and regret, on the contrary, so that we may be reconciled with Him. God loved Israel, but their hearts tended toward idol-worship and trusting in men rather than trusting in God. Therefore God, in His sovereignty, used His faithful servant David to bring His people near to Him by showing them the way back to Himself.

He knew that only God had the power to deal with this iniquitY.

God displayed His process of redemption through David’s life. David confessed his wrongdoing for what it was, a great offense against his God - ultimately it was a lack of trust in God’s ability to keep David and Israel safe from destruction. Then, take notice what David did and did not do as a result of his confession. He didn’t hang his head in shame, but he boldly and humbly laid the responsibility of forgiveness at the feet of His God. He knew that only God had the power to deal with this iniquity. One thing to remember about confession is that although God takes away our sin there are often consequences that we still experience as a result of our rebellion. God shows us this reality in His response to David.

“... Three things I offer you. Choose one of them, that I may do it to you.”
- 2 Samuel 24:12

God is gracious to David even as He doles out his punishment. How often do we even give our own children ‘options’ for their punishments? Not often. But because David went to His Father and confessed his sin, God showed mercy to him. And we can see that the true measure of this man David’s character comes through  in his choice of punishment. David chooses this time to trust in the Lord - not in men, but in the great mercy and justice of his God.

“Then David said to Gad, “I am in great distress. Let us fall into the hand of the LORD, for his mercy is great; but let me not fall into the hand of man.”
- 2 Samuel 24:14

through David’s confident trust, God proved to all of Israel that He indeed was a merciful God.

David knew he could count on the mercy of his God. And through David’s confident trust, God proved to all of Israel that He indeed was a merciful God. Did this mean that, in His mercy, there would be no suffering to endure? By no means! 70,000 men died from the pestilence that was sent on Israel by the LORD. How did David react to the death toll? He manned up and boldly went to the LORD in the face of the great evil that was working against his people. He took ownership of his sin and acted as a scapegoat and bore the sins of his people, so that their lives would be spared.

“Then David spoke to the LORD when he saw the angel who was striking the people and said, 'Behold, I have sinned, and I have done wickedly. But these sheep, what have they done? Please let your hand be against me and against my father’s house.'”
 - 2 Samuel 24:17

David therefore became a foreshadowing of Christ as our scapegoat. He was a king and priest who made atonement for his sin-stained people. What a wonderful example of Christ-like leadership that he displayed! Through his life we see God’s loving-kindness toward those of us who believe. All in all, David was a leader who boldly poured out his heart to the LORD in all that he said and did. He shows us how to trust in the merciful kindness of our loving King - He who took our sin upon Himself in order that we might be reconciled back to God.

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Karen Savage wants to live in a world where Christ is Glorified. When she's not serving her family, you can find her serving others. Her favorite Scripture is John 15:7-8 ESV.

Have you ever held someone in high regard only to find yourself dashed upon the rocks of disillusionment? Or those times when it’s you that messes up -- how do you handle that?

When I was younger, I loved reading “choose your own adventure” style books from the library. Those books revolved around a character who was presented with choices that you, as the reader, then got to interact with and decide what happened to them. Each choice revealed more options and consequences as the story unfolded. And sometimes through the twists and turns of my choices, the ending was unexpected, undesirable, or even abrupt.

At that point I’d go back a few pages and make a different choice - trying to look for ways to undo the mess I had just made. And while that may work in a book, it doesn’t work in real life -- although I may try.

Our reading in 2 Samuel 11-21 this week reminds me of a “choose your own adventure.” David made choices. Others made choices. One choice led to an action which, in turn, fed into another choice. Our reading overflows with examples of people reacting to choices that were made -- either theirs or someone else’s.

• David chose not to accompany his troops in conquest
  And conquered another man’s wife instead
   
• Amnon chose not to heed the pleas of his sister
  And acted on his own sinful desires
   
• Absalom chose not to honor his father
  And made a fatal power play for the throne

Deceit, revenge, and even murder characterize some of the undesirable results of those choices. Before I’m too quick to remove myself from that storyline, I need to admit I’m just as capable. While I may not commit murder in the physical sense of the word, what do I do? Do I orchestrate a scheme to cover my tracks? Make excuses? Threaten? Manipulate? Give up in despair? Become numb? Demanding? Unforgiving?

When the actions of others disappoint me or affect my sense of security, identity, control, or comfort, am I quick to react with a counter move of my own? Or do I choose to respond by seeking God’s face first and with finality? Thankfully, within the reactions and choices found in this week’s reading, there are corresponding Psalms about choosing to respond and cry out to God in the midst of the messes at hand.

Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.
-Psalm 32:1

Psalm 12 eloquently captures the mess of our circumstances, while Psalm 32 addresses the mess of our hearts. Within the context of Psalm 3, David is fleeing from his son, Absalom, who betrays him and turns the Israelites against the king. To make matters worse, King David then faces taunting and disrespectful jeers from a member of former King Saul’s clan. I can’t even imagine the anger, rejection, embarrassment, frustration, vulnerability, shame, and hatred David felt! And yet, look at his response: ”But you LORD (LORD stands for Yahweh -- God’s personal, covenant keeping name) are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high.” (Ps. 3:3) Remember, this is coming from David -- who had pretty much just flunked his “choose your own adventure” moment.

 So what’s the point of the matter?

The point of the matter isn’t that we’ve messed up, or even that someone else messed up all over us (yet again). Rather, the point of the matter is that when “mess ups” happen -- either through us or to us-- we are given a choice. Will we react, or respond?

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Jackie Perseghetti wants to live in a world where every human realizes they are walking wounded and in need of God’s grace. Her heart is to be God’s person at God’s time in the life of another and she looks for God-given moments to breathe life and encouragement. When Jackie is not going on adfuntures with her hubby (adventure with fun at the center) or teaching drums or the art of papercrafting, you can find her digging in her garden, storytelling to her grandkids, or sharing the stirrings of her heart at  www.smallstepsintofreedom.wordpress.com  She takes great comfort in her favorite Bible verses: Isaiah 41:10 and Isaiah 46:4.